I met a fellow once who was from Montevideo
He did not stay for very long before he had to go
I did not know him well, but I was totally bereft
I have to say I’ve missed him ever since the day he left.

I did not know a thing about the place from which he came
I did obsessive research to distract me from my pain
There wasn’t much in English, but I did what I could do
And then I found those guide books written by that Welsh guru

(chorus - lai lai ra lai)

I feel a little guilty – like I'm cheating on Brazil
But all the folks I know down there are really super chill
They know I love their music, but I'm sure they can't ignore
That Carnival in Uruguay is far superior

I learned about candombe with its drums that come in three
I learned that Las Llamadas is the place I ought to be
Perhaps I am just awkward, or perhaps I am a rube
‘Cuz all I ever do now is watch murga on YouTube

(to the tune of “Montevideo” by Tabaré Cardozo)
But if I move there, I’m not really sure
Just what I think I’d accomplish
I’m just a gringa with poor social skills
One kiss on the cheek, and I’ll be high for like a week

I can’t smoke weed, and I don’t drink much beer
Honestly, I’m rather boring
So when people find out that I’m from the States
I’m sure they’ll think I’m a Mormon!

If they want to build a wall
I would not blame them at all
Prob’ly best to keep me out
I’m kind of loco
But when all I said and done
I still think it would be fun
Every night I’m dreaming of
Montevideo


(lai ra lai ra lai ra lailailailai)

Well, darling, if you're hearing this, I bet that you are pissed
You think that I'm a nutjob and should see a therapist
You think I'm only doing this because I want you near
Just like Rebecca Bunch, but in the Southern Hemisphere

Well dear, you have a point – but then, I think it should be said
The only thing that's helped me to remove you from my head
Is learning about Uruguay, and so it must be true
That I can love your country even if I can't love you…


(to the tune of “Amor Profundo”)
But is this healthy?
That’s what I’m trying to understand
I’ve got no explanation
For my fascination
And if I went there
Would I get better or get worse
Would the pain that I’m feeling
At last have an ending?

Well, as much as I would like to go, I think it would be best
To stay here in the States and help clean up our awful mess
It’s hard for me to say without collapsing into sobs,
But Uruguayans do not need us stealing all their jobs

But honestly, I’ll prob’ly still go down there, anyway
I could just go and visit; there’s no need for me to stay
Unless I wind up married, yeah, that might work out all right…
There’s lots of dudes down there who like to paint their faces white...oh!...

(lai lai ra lai)