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lyrics

It was very clear you were besotted from the start
I prob’ly could have been more careful with your fragile heart
It’s true that I was leaving, but I hardly could say no
Your fawning gazes did so much for my frail male ego

But if you really knew me
You prob’ly wouldn’t like me
I really have no doubt it would be fate
For you to see I’m not that great

You’re better off without me, so go along your way
And pray for that poor woman who gets stuck with me someday!

I know how much you’re suffering, how lonely you must feel
But the man that you are missing - dear, he isn’t really real
You didn’t know me long enough to know the ugly truth:
I’m rude and inconsiderate and generally uncouth

You’ve clearly figured out I’m rather fond of smoking pot
Hey, what’s your name again? My short term memory is shot
I have some strong ideas about how women should behave
And though I’ve got this beard, you know I’d want for you to shave

I’ll leave things on the stove and then forget and walk away
I’m going to roll my eyes at you no matter what you say
But mostly I’ll ignore you, and while we’re on that note
My dearest one, be proper now and hand me the remote!

Yes, if you really knew me
You prob’ly wouldn’t like me
I’m sure it wouldn’t take you long to see
You’d be quite miserable with me
You’re better off without me, so go along your way
And pray for that poor woman who gets stuck with me someday

It really wasn’t difficult to string you right along
You flattered me enormously by writing me a song
I might have been misleading, but give credit where it’s due
For with all due respect, my dear, I never slept with you!

When it comes to women, I’ve always had my pick
I’ve never had a problem finding one to...well, you know
I seem so sweet and sensitive, especially for a guy
But honestly, it’s likely that I have an STI

Yes, if you really knew me
You prob’ly wouldn’t like me
I know your heart is broken, and you’re sad
But can’t you see I’m just a cad?
You’re better off without me, so go along your way
And pray for that poor woman who gets stuck with me someday!

credits

from International Man of Mystery - Original Fringe Cast Recording, released June 10, 2018

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Queen Mab San Diego, California

drummer, percussionist, singer/songwriter, and sometimes comedian. If Adele f*cked Frank Zappa in the Amazon rainforest...this is what it would sound like. Visit queenmabmusic.com for more info!

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